Unfortuate

So- two of my best friends are no longer my friends.  They dis invite me and try not to invite me to things.  They don't tell me things, and it sucks.  I honestly can't really think of anything i did for them to do this to me... I have known one of them for 13 years, since kindergarden.  And now what is it? Nothing.

So they wanna stop talking to me? Then I will stop eating, and when i'm perfect.. they'll see what they've done to me?  See how much i hate this?  See that they can't even be there for me... My sadness is the reason why i'm fat.  So i just really need to stop...  Oh man.

I WANT TO DIE.  SO JUST NOW I GOT BACK FROM PHYSICAL TRAINING FOR ARMY AND THEY GAVE ME MEDIUM UNIFORMS.  I DROWN IN THE UNIFORM, BUT WHY CAN'T I GET A SMALL AND STAY SMALL???? I LOOK OBESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I. HATE. LOOKING. HUGE.  or is it because i AM huge..... seriously?! omg.... i want to die.