Today's a good day.. i think

Time is really going by fast.  it's already almost christmas.  Today I am happy because I was also accepted to another college.  I am still waiting for two of my top choices...   I'm scared to go into the army once i'm out of my house.  Right now it's my mom's birthday, 2am.  I never know what to get her.  I love her, but we always have had those differences, if you know what i mean.  Today I ate a brownie for breakfast, like 5 bites from my sandwich, milk, banana.  Lots of water of course.  Then work then went home and ate brownies and chicken.  I purged.  mnmhhmmm. i guess i can't stop purging.

So.. yesterday night I ate mashed potatoes even though i shouldn't have. i ate them a little after my post.  Today during track practice, I felt so great...!!!  I ran so fast, and i wasn't tired.. I don't know if it's because i ate or not.  The thing is.. i want to be fast, but i want to be thin.. Why can't i be both like all the other fast girls on the team?  For me it's one or the other... OR MY THEORY!!! because i have been eating less, i weigh less.  I have less mass to run with, making me faster!! So ana is actually helping me get fast!! Yess.  I mean, i was between the 5th adn 8th person to finish out of like 30 girls so i think that's pretty good. 


ALRIGHT. so here's the part where i get to talk about my crush of the day(:   <3333333333
At work today, a total of 2 guys asked for my name and shook my hand (in a friendlly manner, nor business haha)  One of them i have been seeing go in and out of the store for like a year, and the first time i rang him up for his purchases, we had this awesome conversation.  I don't exactly what it was about, but i felt like we were kind of friends.  Today, after a year, we finally exchanged names.  We talked a good amount, and i learned more about him.  He seems to be way older than I am.  But that's okay, he's a cutie.  I guess i am into older guys? my last bf is 21, so this guy is probably 22 or 23 or something.  I mean i also have a work crush on my manager but that's like a fake crush.  Then anotehr guy comes in and he's like, how do you say your name?  I see you all the time here and i am always curious.  We exchanged names as well.  The thing is,  i love having this attention from these guys.  However, of course, nothing will come of it.  I'm just my teenager self, crushing on these older guys.  But when i was dating my ex, i felt as though our 4 year age difference just wasnt working out... why would he have wanted to date a fat 17 year old anyway???

but now that i'm getting thinner and thinner, i'm becoming a winner winner!! Getting thinner made me happier.  Getting thinner made me feel good about my clothing, and i have been doing better at school.  I love working when i'm thinner when my pants and tight pants don't make me look fat, and being thinner made guys like me more.  Truth is you get what you want when you are thin.